Butch Fashionista

2009-02-25T00:32:00.004-05:00

So, I’m not so good at this blogging thing. I think it has to do with the fact that I think of things I want to say all the time but rarely get around to sitting down in front of a computer to formulate these thoughts into something else, and if I do I generally feel guilty for not doing other things (like laundry or reading) or enjoying my free time with friends. So your getting a short rambeling and some fluff thrown in there too.

The thing that has been bouncing around in my head the most as of late is stature and how that plays into ID’ing as butch. I’m pretty tall and watching the different way people interact/treat me in comparison to a much physically smaller butch fascinates me. The amount of unearned respect that comes with being a larger size especially from men is exponentially higher. Something that was delt out to me by the genetics lottery allows the guys I work with to question less my ablitiy than someone who may have more skills but is smaller? What? Size has nothing to do with the way people should present themselves in the gender spectrum

Another thing about size is finding clothes, which is way easier said than done. Turns out I spend more time clothes shopping than the lady. Probably because I am kind of picky on my clothing cuts. But the best thing I have fallen in love with all winter is the half zip sweater

River Driver (Great Big Sea) and procrastinating

2008-11-18T02:49:00.003-05:00

So I started a post on stature and how I carry my self and the whole thing that goes with that and then realized 3 things 1) it would take too long to get my thoughts out 2) I have presentation, 2 papers, a paper project and 3 exams by Friday 3) if I didn't stop looking at text books and highlighted pieces of paper my brain might explode wich brings you this, another one of those crazy tagging posts

I. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
II. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
III. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
IV. Tag 3 friends who might enjoy doing this.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Hey Jude (Beatles)

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Rhode Island is Famous For You (Erin McKeown)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Act II: La Fleur Que Tu M'avais Jetee (Flower Song) (Opera Carmen)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Fly Me to the Moon (Frank Sinatra)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Moment Of Forgiveness (Indigo Girls)

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Confrontation (Les Mis)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Cant Tell You Why (Eagles)

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Judgment Of The Moon And Stars (Ludwig's Tune) (Joni Mitchel)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Thats the Way (Led Zepplen)

10. WHAT IS 2+2?
Out of Range (Ani DiFranco)

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Godspeed (Dixie Chicks)

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Fever (Peggy Lee)

16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Everything Will Be Alright (Joshua Radin)

17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
The State Of Massachusetts (Dropkick Murphys)

18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Family (Dar Williams)

19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
It Doesn't Matter Anymore (Buddy Holly)

20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Something For Cat (Breakfast at Tiffany's soundtrack)

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Daydream (Lovin Spoonful)

22. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
For Your Wallet (Old Growth)

23. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Paths That Cross (Patti Smith)

24. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Say Goodbye (Girlymen)

25. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Circle of Friends (Better that Ezra)

26. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Act 3 prelude: Devil and Kate (Dvorak)

27. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
River Driver (Great Big Sea)

Im tagging
1 - Holden of Packing Vocals
2 - Colleen of Fatgirl Femme
3 - and Greg of Green Eyed Girl

So its been awhile...

2008-11-07T13:46:00.003-05:00

and apparently I can remember how to use this thing but that's ok, only 2 false posts that were empty. School kind of ate up all of my free time and took away most of my sleep time, but things have kind of calmed down for the moment.

Im not going to say too much about the election because I feel that most of us are in the same boat, bitter-sweet. Im happy to see Obama as president elect but disappointed in the fact that 3 states now have a ban on same-sex marriage.

I miss being able to dress up yes, I have posted on this before but I mean my day to day work clothes are work pants, a t-shirt and steel toes, a letherman, and a flashlight attached to my belt.

During this brief absence from posting it was my birthday, and sometimes I wonder why I get the things I do from my family (parents, my aunt, my 1 cousin and her family), girl pajama bottoms (now even my super girly best friend and my mother agree that men's pj bottoms are so much better, and they generally have pockets, which make them 100 times better for living in) and to go with those pants a package of mens white t-shirts in XL, now I am a womens XL but a mens M or L depending, and because of my tattoo that my family doesn't know about I just haven't worn a white t-shirt around them for a year. I also received a sparkly pink mermaid wind chime thing, its really beautiful. But sometimes I wonder how well does my family know me? and I know I dress more feminine around them, so I know that has something to do with it. Who knows, but my family does make me smile even when the tension does get a little high during the holidays, my mom breaks out her singing Elvis ornament and starts dancing around. Plus my daddy is amazing, he is one of my best friends and he still gets super excited over the idea that his only child, who is a girl can do it all, build things, weld things but also embroider and cook. And that is why for the past three years my dad has given me tools.

Ive been taged!

2008-10-23T09:27:00.003-04:00

I was tagged twice! by Holden of Packing Vocals and Kyle of Butchtastic.

Wow its been a bit longer than I would hope between posts but midterms do that.

1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

So the 7 random or weird facts are;

1) I always have gaffers tape with me, about 3 feet wrapped around a card in my wallet, my desk drawer, or my car. Its such handy stuff better than duct tape; I can tear it easily and no sticky gunk.

2) speaking of sticky gunk I can't stand my hands being sticky or things on my hands, I will be in the middle of a project and I just have to go wash my hands.

3) I always want to write in green ink, I also always write on grid paper

4) I dislike cats but I have learned to love the ladys cats, but I still want a puppy.”

5) I don't do spiders, the lady has to take care of them

6) One of my earliest memories is of getting bit by a spider, Ive also gotten 2 cortisone shots because of another bite. As I said, I don't do spiders.

7) I read technical manuals for fun, often times after I have used the product or on different kinds of motors they don't make anymore.

I think everyones blog that I read has been tagged so I might do a different tagging post later this week if I get a chance.

awkward conversations

2008-10-10T09:18:00.004-04:00

so Im going to 2 shows this weekend, one opera with the lady and one musical with a friend. Im not sure what I'll were to the opera, but its a casual one were I could have on a nice pair of jeans and be ok. Well in some peoples mind, I still try to look extra nice for opera, hell its "high art" kinda like ballet, yes its super cheap opera but its still opera. I hope the lady wears a skirt, I haven't seen her in one in a while and it makes me so happy.

So I was working on stuff yesterday and my friend comes up to me and asks me if I am planning on wearing a dress, I look at her a little silly and reply "I only have one skirt in my closet and thats for when my family visits plus I get a little panicky after about 20 minutes in a skirt." I asked if there was a particular reason I needed to were a skirt (awkwardly running into her family or what ever the reason might be) We have known each other for over 2 years now, she has yet to see me, in that I can recall, any womens clothing and she has seen me dressed up plenty of times.

Dork...

2008-10-07T17:20:00.002-04:00

I feel like such a dork because people are reading and commenting on my writing. Ive never been confident in my writing, and the fact that people are reading my thoughts that were thrown into a keyboard and enjoy it might make me giggle a little.

Also I feel like there is something wrong with the fact I am in class earlier every day than I was at work this summer, and I started at 8:30 this summer.

oops!

2008-10-04T18:18:00.003-04:00

so in my night stand table there are several different sex toys and cocks. I the lady and I have a few things that are used the most and the others are mostly mine, things that don't really do it for her or there really awkward to use with someone else. So it dawned on me that I haven't seen some toys and cocks for a while now...like since I moved in. I]m starting to worry about where they are. I have spent the past few hours looking for them. If I left them at home I might as well go and buy replacements because I know they will probably be found and thrown out. well crap.

cencorship

2008-10-04T14:52:00.003-04:00

so at work all summer we listened to country music and the most played song of the summer was Kid Rocks - All Summer Long. Its an upbeat catchy tune that got over played and will probibly have the same out come as Hey there Delilah had the summer before, not played that much on the radio because everyone develops audio fatigue as soon as that song comes on. But I was in my car today listening to the radio and All Summer Long comes on so I start listening to it, and the censored the line "... we were smoking funny things..." and it was edited to "we were mumble funny things." I was in a VERY liberal city this summer and now I am not any were near a liberal city but still I feel that this is a bit overboard.

dressing up?

2008-09-28T13:31:00.002-04:00

Thank you to Colleen at Fatgirl Femme for welcoming me to the blog world. Her mentioning my cuff links reminded me how much I really like to dress up. The only thing is that I will probably never have a job that is even remotely business casual. I'm in school and college is not known for giving you lots of time to interact with the world at large and dress up, your more likely to see girls in sweatpants than skirts. My major, technical theatre stuff, requires me to get dirty and build scenery or hang lights in a dusty grid or a bunch of other things. So Im mostly a jeans and a t-shirt with work boots. If I really want to dress up I were a polo or a dress shirt over a t-shirt, generally white or black and take off the nicer shirt for work.

Even for dates the lady and I don't get that dressed up, but by the end of the week were both so tired we generally vote for take out, cuddling and studying. I wish we would go on more dress-up dates, not only because I enjoy dressing up but because I like seeing her all dressed up. Even on her super casual Sundays she has on earrings and her hair done. But there is something about seeing her in a dress with stockings (which includes a garter belt) and shoes. She has a shoe thing, which is ok by me. Tons of adorable shoes. Its quite the contrast to my 1 pair of dress black shoes, 1 pair of dress brown shoes, a pair of tennis shoes, work boots, and sandals.

School?

2008-09-22T23:35:00.003-04:00

So I'm a few weeks into school now and I'm starting to remember why every year I think I need to get back on ADD meds. Yes there are pros and cons, I know Ive been on them, been off them, on and off one more time. This year I'm going to need it. I don't even believe that I should always be on them, just enough so I can sit down and not spend 4 hours in the library and get very little accomplished. Not 4 hours worth hell probably not even 2 hours worth. Its getting old fast. My goal is by the end of this weekend be 2 days ahead on all of my syllabus, or at least that is the goal.

2008-09-17T13:02:00.002-04:00

So between lots of internet access issues and getting settled into my new apartment my goal is to post semi-regularly. On that note Bitch magazine needs support or it will go under. If you havent read it its a magazine thats subtitle is feminsts responce to pop culture. It does a great job of short thought provoking essays and exploding myths.

packing 2.0 and other various thoughts

2008-09-08T22:29:00.005-04:00

A tiny side thought on the Friday post; when do you bring up packing? Is it one of those late night post sex talks or one or those early morning while I make breakfast? I doubt its one of those out at a restaurant dinner talks. I feel like its a personal step that has a direct affect (and effect for that matter) on the lady and our relationship. I know she wont go screaming for the hills but I worry about how she will react. Partially because of her previous relationships mostly with males and its just one of those things that runs through my head as affecting the out come of this conversation.

oh and - I was impressed by Rachel Maddow tonight on her own show. She is truly bright.

oh and - I got this link from a friend who is obsesses with brightly colored tennis shoes and was delighted to see Rachel Maddow wearing them, my favorite part article would be she looks like Ira Glass from This American Life (who is also on my list of truly bright people.)

oh and - a house fly just committed suicide by flying into my ceiling fan.

Packing

2008-09-05T08:59:00.009-04:00

now how many posts can have one title and get 2 completely different posts?
packing of course.

Well I'm unpacking things right now, things that haven't been touched all summer, trying to figure out were all my kitchen stuff goes. I'll probably manage to loose all of my forks.

But also packing, Ive been wanting to start packing for dates with the lady. Honestly its more for my self (as it should be.) Every once and awhile I go through examining every little thing about my self and my gender expression. Generally I am happy with what I see, much happier than 4 years ago when i was midway through high school and wearing womens clothes to make my family happy. Me in an adorable chunky knit pink sweater with a curve hugging skirt and heals? its a frightening thought let me tell you. People often wonder were this masculine part came from, I don't know but it kicked in full gear in middle school. Back to packing, I have a packing/fucking cock the amazing silky who is also highly regarded by Sinclair author of the Sugarbutch Chronicles. I had not already owned my silky or Mr. Bendy as babeland calls it, when I found her blog her writings probably would have convinced me to run out and by one. Still I have not packed for more than a few hours by my self. I'm thinking the silky is too bulky for packing in a inconspicuous manner. Packing with something more like soft pack not noticeable to anyone by myself , a drifting hand, or the lady. The soft pack also gives me a chance to strap-on a larger cock because silky is not silicone and not very girthy.

Now pack to unpacking.

Hair

2008-09-01T20:28:00.006-04:00

It's been a popular subject and I would like to share my two cents. These two cents are also just a general statement and my preferences have been proven wrong many times.

A little about me –

- I have short hair, I’ve been thinking about getting something a little more short and spiky or fun but for about 2 years now (since I’ve been in college) I’ve had fairly short hair. Honestly my hair looks like Richie Cunningham on Happy Days. I had long hair until my junior year of high school when I cut a foot off, it was still chin length. My mother still picks at how I style my hair and suggests that I grow it out. There are moments when I miss a ponytail because it was the simplest thing that can always make you look pulled together if it’s done nicely. Now I have to use pomade everyday or I resort to a hat.

- My eyebrows are always shaped, but I get them done

- I normally shave my legs and pits, but honestly this summer I didn’t, I’m curious to see what my girlfriend says when I see her when I’m back at school. I liking not shaving. I haven’t worn shorts or a tank top since I have stopped shaving, I’m curious to see how that plays if I have the guts to do it. I trim my pubic hair.

What I’m attracted to

- I really enjoy long hair, but I feel that a bob or something cute and short can be just a beautiful

- Shaving, I really don’t care as much as long as your happy, if your happy you are more confident and confidence is sexy. Freshly shaved legs are silky and smooth and I admit, a turn on.

Road trip!

2008-08-31T17:40:00.005-04:00

thats right, I joined the ridiculous amount of people that travel over labor day weekend. Only I didn't hit any traffic. Yes on 95 out and back into DC I hit no traffic. Don't ask me how I got so lucky.

I went on a little trip to go see my best friend who just moved into her apartment. I helped her decorate, move things around, look at reject paint colors trying to figure out which one is closest to "Tiffany blue" and thrift storing; she found a beautiful chocolate brown evening gown for next to nothing and I found a pair of cuff links and retro salt and pepper shakers. (i think this explains a bit about our friendship)

Its kind of interesting as she is a straight and obviously feminine and I am a gay and quite masculine. I sometimes wonder what people see the two of us as, when were out to dinner or whatever, friends or lovers? Or does that latter never even cross there mind?

test one two three

2008-08-28T21:21:00.001-04:00

So here it goes, my first post this will be a place for my musings on just about every aspect of life. I am warning you know that my thoughts are mostly about butch/femme dynamic and clothing, I will probably delve in to some deeper subjects but I think I just take the topics as they come.

~Mich